How (and why) to build slack into your life.
I read a LinkedIn post the other day about building ‘slack’ into our lives, by a growth and performance consultant called Dr Mark Thorley.
His post was in a very different context from your life as a school leaver, but I do think there is definitely something that you, as school students, preparing for the next phase of your lives, can learn from his wisdom.
In his post he talks about how we, as a society, seem to be all consumed with doing more. We constantly strive to be our best selves whether at work or in our personal lives.
Work hard, play hard, do more, go on better holidays, get a bigger car, spend more, get a bigger house, a bigger mortgage, and a bigger debt on our credit cards.
And what this all really comes down to is that we constantly get stressed simply trying to meet the expectations of others.
And it's clear that school isn’t so different. You get virtually no say over your time-table, which will keep you busy from the moment you enter the school gate to the moment you leave. You’ll have constant pressure on you to do your very best at every exam you ever take. And you’ll also be expected to do a whole load of other stuff to fill your CV and your UCAS Personal Statement!
And yet, Dr Thorley notices, those who seem to be the very most successful at surviving in times of uncertainty, and can thrive when things go wrong, are those who have managed to build a little ‘slack’ into their lives.
They somehow seem to keep aside:
A store of energy and enthusiasm which they can draw on when they need it
An excess of physical strength, endurance and resilience
Extra mental headroom and the capacity to adapt mentally
Financial reserves that are just that little bit deeper
And why do people with a little slack thrive in uncertain times?
It’s obvious really. They have the capacity to find that little bit of extra time, strength, energy, or money from what they already have.
Their emotional resources (and their credit cards) are not already maxed out!
What does this mean for you?
We know beyond all reasonable doubt that uncertainty is ahead, especially as you head into a period of major change in your life, so what might “building in a little slack” look like for you?
University choices
It seems to me that many students are overly concerned about going to the ‘best’ universities; those at the top of the league tables, or those with the strongest brands.
And it’s not just you: your families and schools seem to want to push you in that direction too.
Just have a look at these two articles if you need any evidence of that!
It’s like we’ve all lost sight of what’s important: getting an education that really works for you!
So cut yourself some slack with your choices.
Sure, have an aspirational choice or two, but don’t sweat if the university you get into is a few places down the league tables from the supposed ‘best’.
Ultimately it will make no difference at all. University isn’t really about where you go; it’s about what you do when you get there.
School qualifications
This might be a controversial and even unpopular view to take, but maybe you can even cut yourself some slack over your expected school grades.
Once again, of course you want to fulfill your potential, but not if it causes you to burnout.
Of course you want to put in a sensible amount of work so you don’t have regrets in the future thinking you could have done better.
But for most of you, does it really matter if you get ABB instead of your predicted AAB? Will life look so different if one of your grades drops from a B to a C?
Honestly? It’ll make no difference at all. And if you want to know why, just re-read the previous section.
Extra-curricular and super-curricular activities
I’m a big fan of extra-curricular and super-curricular activities and I did loads when I was at school. Whether music, performance, debating or sport, I credit my extra-curricular activities as being more important in defining me than my school studies.
Super-curricular activities, meanwhile, are super-important in helping you decide whether a subject really is something you want to study for three years at university. If you don’t know what they are, have a look at:
But even I realised when enough was enough. At age 14 I gave up playing the French horn, because frankly, I wasn’t enjoying it, and it just seemed like a challenge too far for no genuine benefit.
It’s so important to learn that it’s OK to say ‘no’, to make sure you have the right amount of relaxation and down-time to recharge your batteries regularly.
If you are just not enjoying something and it’s draining you rather than filling you up, just be prepared to say ‘no’ it's not for you.
Social pressure
This also means knowing that you can say ‘no’ when you are under pressure to go to a party or other social event. You might feel like you are letting people down, but trust me, the party will go ahead just fine even if you’re not there.
If you just need to have your own space and save some energy, it is always OK just to say ‘no’.
Budgeting
And finally, I wrote all about budgeting a couple of weeks ago, and in a budget there is almost always a section called “other”.
Make sure this is big enough so that you don’t spend it every month. Then when the unexpected happens, you’ll have a little reserve to dig into.
I understand that this will be extremely difficult to do on a student budget, but always keep even just a small amount aside each month. It is a very healthy habit to get into for your life ahead!
So there you have it, five ways that you can build a little bit of slack into your life, so that when the unexpected happens, you’ll be just that little bit more ready, and more prepared to deal with it!
