Resilience and Stoicism: what they are and why they matter
Last month, I wrote all about parental pressure and finding happiness in work.
I then received a lovely reply from another education consultant and adviser. He said that he would add, for the parents out there, that “aside from a decent paying job in an industry you care about, happiness across the lifespan is essentially a by-product of resilience” and that for this “stoic philosophy will do the job”.
He was so spot on with this comment that I just had to follow-up with a quick look at both resilience and stoicism, to further understand them, and why they are so important for your life ahead.
Resilience
What is resilience?
The Oxford language dictionary definition of resilience is “the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.”
Meanwhile the study of resilience as a discipline in educational psychology goes back to the early 70’s (there is a ton of literature all about it, which you can find with a quick google or a look at Wikipedia!)
In 2013, Public Health England started to encourage the teaching of resilience in schools as a way to promote healthy behaviour, higher qualifications, better employment, better mental wellbeing and quicker recovery from illness. Their definition was much the same as the dictionary: “Resilience is the capacity to ‘bounce back’ from adversity”.
Now, right across the world there is a broad movement in schools to build resilience amongst young people. As a student, while you may not be fully aware of everything in place at your school to help you build resilience, I’m sure you’ve heard the term ‘resilience’ plenty of times!
But what does resilience really mean in practice?
Well, there are a few different models, but one that is widely followed was developed by Dr Kenneth Ginsburg, a paediatrician from Philadelphia. He broke down resilience into the 7 Cs:
Competence: The ability to handle challenging situations.
Confidence: Belief in your own ability.
Connection: The ability to develop close connections with family, friends and community
Character: A fundamental understanding of right and wrong and the ability to uphold values.
Contribution: Understanding the importance of serving others and the greater good.
Coping: The ability to understand stress, and cope with it.
Control: Understanding that you do have control over your own decisions.
That’s a lot of different elements, which mainly goes to show that resilience is not just about ‘toughness’, and it’s not a simple case that you are either resilient or not. Resilience comes from a wide range of skills and mindsets, developed over a lifetime.
And does having resilience make you happy?
We’ll get a bit further into what happiness actually is in a minute, but in addition to the well-being benefits identified by Public Health England, I think we can all acknowledge that when we see people displaying signs of having resilience, we can see people who are more comfortable with themselves, who are more comfortable with the world, and who have a less negative reaction to challenges and difficulties.
Stoicism
What does being Stoic mean?
Stoic is a term you’ve probably heard occasionally. It’s a word that is used colloquially, to mean “calm under pressure” or “avoiding emotional extremes”. E.g. “When she found out about her illness, her reaction was stoic”. Meaning, she reacted logically, showing little emotion.
What is Stoic Philosophy actually about?
Stoicism, however, is actually an entire philosophical movement that is over 2,000 years old, dating back to the time of the great Greek and Roman philosophers such as Lucius Seneca and Marcus Aurelius. It’s not really about being calm under pressure, or avoiding emotion; rather it’s about understanding what we can and can’t control.
We can’t control everything that goes on around us, but we can control how we approach things (including our reactions to what happens around us).
So rather than imagine a perfect world, stoicism accepts the world as it is, and instead of trying to change the world, it seeks self-improvement in four specific ways. These are described as the four virtues:
Practical Wisdom: The ability to navigate complex situations in a logical, calm and informed manner.
Temperance: Restraint and moderation, in all aspects of life.
Justice: Treating others with fairness, even when they have done wrong.
Courage: The ability to face daily challenges with clarity and integrity.
These four virtues are actually not so different from the seven Cs of resilience.
For a little bit more on Stoicism, check out this quick five minute TedEd intro: The Philosophy of Stoicism.
Will Stoicism make you happy?
There are a whole range of views on this. Some will say Stoicism won’t help you find happiness, but will help you find virtue. Others will argue that the principles of virtue in Stoicism are highly connected with everything we know about well-being and happiness.
Derren Brown (yes, him, the magician), wrote a book all about this a few years back. He is a big fan of Stoicism, and in the book ‘Happy: Why more or less everything is absolutely fine’, he discusses the interplay of Stoicism and happiness.
You can get a really nice introduction to his thinking here on Youtube: Derren Brown on what will make us happy (and less anxious!).
In this short video, he sums up his view on what happiness is: “Rather than seeing it as a thing we should be aiming for” he says, “it's better seeing happiness maybe as a by-product of finding meaning in life”. And Stoicism can certainly play a part in that.
What can you take from all this?
Well, whether you prefer to take your lead from recent educational ideas of resilience, or from the ancient philosophy of Stoicism, I’d argue that each has the potential to give you incredibly useful tools on how to deal with life.
In particular, they can help you understand the things that are in your control (your decisions and your reactions), and the things are not within your control (that’s everything else).
Armed with these tools, you’ll be better prepared to deal with the difficulties and challenges that life will inevitably throw at you.
Will resilience and Stoicism make you happy? Well, as my fellow education adviser said right at the start, when combined with a decent paying job in an industry that you care about, they just might!
